today has been both magical and tragic
C’est la vie, I guess. It’s a harrowing beauty. I spoke to a friend tonight about the leaps of faith you take in life, and he said that for someone who’s so carefree I continually close myself off to one of life’s most major experiences. No surprises about what he’s talking about there — the L word. And no, I don’t mean lesbianism.
He’s spot on the money. Up until now I preferred fantasy over reality, because, to be honest, I really couldn’t be bothered. There were loads of things I’d rather be caught up in rather than dramas that involved a high dose of insecurity, anxiety, ego and emotional manhandling. Somewhere along the way, however, the things that sat before it on the priority list were gradually being ticked off one by one, and now I’d much rather regret doing things than not. (Thanks to a few people who passed that attitude on to me.)
The point is that everything is transitory, everything ends, so we may as well indulge in what wonderful impermanence the world has to offer, regardless of how discouraging the misfortunes of our loved ones are.
I want to train myself to the bittersweet. Dance in the rain before hitting the hay; wake up in the morning dreading the lack of blue sky and domestic drudgery ahead and then dance the night away again.
